I want to always be very real on my blog, instagram, twitter, and facebook. I don’t want people thinking my life is all roses and … m&ms. I can capture great moments to share, but this whole 2 under 2 thing is no joke at times. Add in the ever-changing hormones leftover from pregnancy, or from breastfeeding, or “other.” I had a REALLY hard day last week. Ironically enough, it was the day my 14 hours with 2 under 2 posted. Ya know, the one where I was like I got this. Ya. not so much.
By 11 am I was overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, and had this rage boiling inside. If you’ve been pregnant, you know that spark. It just comes from nowhere and you can literally feel your blood boiling. But the kicker is, it comes from nowhere and the person it aimed at can be anyone – including a 21 month old little girl.
Since bringing Luke home, Aubrey hasn’t acted out much – it’s more the usual almost 2 tantrums that flood our house. Jon and I decided to still act in the same regard as if Luke was here or not. Not listening (usually when time to clean up or do something) there’s a few warnings, a “1 2 3” count and then timeout. Sometimes the warnings get her to oblige. Sometimes it’s the “1 2 3” count that works. But often it’s the timeouts to have it work.
But this past week, while I was in the shower, Aubrey was in her room and pulled out all her books. I didn’t care as she was contained, quiet and happy. But, when it came time to clean up, she was having her own set of anger rages coming out. She wouldn’t touch any of the books. She wanted toys. She went in 1 timeout. Then another. By 3 I was so angry and shaking and I just put her in her bed and closed the door. And then called Jon.
Thank God for that man. He calmed me down (which, by this point I was now crying) and told me to call my mom. I did, she came and picked Aubrey up, and I was able to regroup and get back to my normal self. That night I was having a fellowship dinner with some of my ladies from bible study and it was great to have some adult conversation. Sure, we talked about the kids but we also talked about other things. It was nice.
I know not everyone has family near by, or might not normally have family watch your kids. But it can be so important for your mental health to have someone to call on to help when you’re feeling like you are at your wit’s end.
And even though this photo is forever old of Aubrey, I feel like this is what I heard on Monday – simultaneous crying. lol.