Oh Luke Wayne. When we found out we were having a boy, I was stunned. When you were born, and I saw your hair – so bright red/orange – I was stunned again. You have kept me on my toes and you were my little experiment – I didn’t have any brothers, and I didn’t have many boy cousins. I didn’t really know quite what to do with a little boy!
The first year was so so difficult. Finally, shortly after your first birthday, you finally slept. That, was amazing. So many days before then I would call your daddy just overwhelmed and unsure how I would really keep going on. But, I did.
Even though you and your sister are 21 months apart, over time that gap has shrunk. Now you do everything she does, and she tries to do everything you do. You have really known no life other than that with a big sister as your best friend.
As time has passed, I learned the key to little boys – give them cars. Or trucks. Or trains. Any of those items can keep you entertained. There was no doubt about it – you have been 100% boy and I can remember you grabbing Aubrey’s toys and just pushing them along as cars. No one had to show you, it was just amazingly familiar to you.
You started many things earlier than Aubrey. It’s never been a contest, but it always amazed me. You had teeth 3 months earlier than her. You crawled 4 months earlier than her. You started walking 4 months early, and by 18 months old, you had so many more words than she did. I attribute all of that to trying to catch up to your big sister as quickly as possible.
When we found out we were expecting our third little one, you have somehow still remained my little baby. Even as you turn 3, there are moments where I remember so many different moments of you growing up. Sometimes, it’s when Ryan wears something you wore. I remember your spikey hair and fair skin dressed in the lion pjs that were light and dark brown stripes. I remember dressing you up in a borrowed vest onesie for when we stood in front of our church family and dedicated to raising you to learn and love the Lord. It seems like yesterday. But, it’s been so so long ago.
I can’t stop time. I can’t live in the past. All I can do is watch you change daily. Last week you stood up with your sister, playing guitar and I saw a glimpse of you as a teenager. It was fleeting, but I saw it. Your chunky little wrists and baby hands are getting bigger and skinnier. After hair cuts you look more like a little man than my sweet baby boy.
Your Manna has always said boys have a sweet spot for their mamas. 3 years later and I know that is growing to be true. Just the other day you crawled up in my lap and just laid there for a bit. I might forget all the times you cause me to pull my hair out, cause your sister to cry, cause me to throw my hands up and just wish it was bedtime. And that’s ok. I have plenty of memories I choose to hold on to.
I have two little men now to care for and look after. You have loved being a big brother. I know soon enough you’ll be teaching Ryan the things Aubrey taught you. You’ll teach him how to strum a guitar, or grab anything to make a spectacular one man band. You have a passion for music and that is such a very Dell thing to love.
You’re not the same little baby they placed in my arm 3 years ago. But, you’ll always, always, be my sweet baby boy.
Happy Birthday Luke Wayne!!!