Breastfeeding Roller Coaster

Two weeks ago, I caught a nasty stomach bug. No worries, sparing you details on that.  Jon was out of town, and my mom came and picked up Aubrey for me. I was in no shape to take care of her.  I was really dehydrated and slept for almost 24 hours off and on.  When I felt better, I had one tiny problem…I wasn’t producing any milk.  I posted this on Instagram, and was feeling pretty depressed.

 

I had a pity party for myself that day and knew I needed to shake it.  I have been breastfeeding Aubrey (and also pump so she has bottles with our moms when they watch her) since she was born.  Initially I planned to nurse for 6 weeks, then passed that to 3 months, then before I knew it, I was still doing it.  I was nervous that returning to work might mess with my supply but I seemed to be doing ok.  After awhile I added a 4:30 am pumping to my schedule because her night feeding at 7:30 until her am one at 7am was too much and became really painful. The 4:30 pump alleviated the pain and also allowed for some frozen milk to be stored.

We’re closing in on her one year birthday, and I was planning to wean her at that point.  I’d stop all pumping, I’d only nurse in the AM and at bedtime, and then drop the AM, and then  drop the bedtime one.  I had my own plan, and well, my body & God had other ideas.

After my pity party, I brushed myself off and decided to just accept it for what it is, and be thankful I had so much frozen milk that I could make it another 3 weeks until her birthday.  I had a new game plan with starting to add whole milk now, so by the end of the 3 weeks she’d be ready to go on that.  Also, I realized that by my body self-weaning with the sickness, I probably saved myself a few painful days with cutting back on the feedings.

But, at the end of last week, something happened when I woke up.  My breasts felt really full – which mean they had milk.  I pumped and had about an ounce.  A miracle! I hadn’t had anything before that!  That day I tried nursing Aubrey a bit but still had to use a bottle to ensure she was eating enough.  The next morning I pumped again, and got over 3 ounces! Of course I posted it on Instagram…

I am able to nurse her in the morning and at bedtime and we’re still going to work on adding whole milk to her routine.  I’m taking a moment to soak in each moment that I get to nurse her, because I know it’ll be over soon.  Thank you for everyone who commented on my Instagram pics and also on Twitter.  It was a really hard thing to accept, but I know that I can always move on from any down feelings I’m having :)

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